Feeling envy: the toxicity of a dark sentiment.

Feeling envy: the toxicity of a dark sentiment. [url=https://www.rxshopmd.com/products/antinarcoleptic/buy-modafinil-modalert/]comprar modafinil[/url] п»ї<title>Feeling envy: the toxicity of a dark sentiment.</title> [IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/mujer-sintiendo-envidia-de-otra.jpg[/IMG] The history of mankind confirms that we are social beings. From the appearance of the first hominids to the development of different species, men and women have come together to live together. Our affective environment is the basis of our functioning in networks. The discovery of fire not only allowed us to see in the dark nights, to protect ourselves from the cold or to cook meat, but also generated gatherings around the campfire and favored contact, closeness, glances and the birth of the first gutturalisms as a primitive form of dialogue. Vulnerability and resilience -that ability to bounce back in the face of adversity- are constructs that make sense in a context and form a choreography that goes from stability to the most disruptive instability and, of course, to change. Not only that, but they will lead people to develop actions based on the different meanings they attribute to the events that arise as they experience life. Communication gamesIt is in this choreography where different communication games are developed: personality styles, the characteristics of each interlocutor, the form of verbal, paraverbal or nonverbal expression, the context in which the dialogue takes place and the content of the conversation. Thus, within human communication, there coexist both nurturing and affective interactional games, as well as those that are highly toxic. When two people try to communicate, there are certain rules of communication that evolve as the dialogue evolves; however, when the number of interlocutors increases, so does the complexity and everything is more prone to misunderstandings. Among these games, triangular (three-person) games are a fateful number. Alliances are established that become coalitions against a third party. The famous two against one, in which the third party must endure the segregation and disqualification of the other two: fights, mistreatment, insults, manipulations, ironies, provocations, among others. Undoubtedly, a toxic game. An example of a relationship of three is jealousy. A relationship of two is interfered by a real or imaginary third party, where one of the two feels relegated because he/she believes that his/her partner maintains certain behaviors of affective closeness with another person. This game generates anguish, aggression, blame, anger, despair and other polluting feelings. Envy, a capital sinOne of the most toxic games is to feel envy. In fact, Catholicism considers envy as one of the seven deadly sins in addition to lust, gluttony, laziness, greed, pride and anger. This dark feeling is triggered because the achievements and successes of someone close and related to the envious person, show him his own incapacity or aptitude for that achievement. Then, the envious person initiates a series of disqualifications towards the envied one in an attempt to destroy him/her. He feels so minuscule, so impotent in the face of the other's success, that he needs to undermine him to the point of reducing him and bringing him to his knees in order to feel superior. Now, to feel envy is not only to covet what others have. What most and best characterizes true envy is the desire that the envied person does not have what he has, that his success is not real. Understood in this way, it is possible to conclude that envy is the mother of resentment, a feeling that does not seek for one to do better but for the other to do worse. The envious person becomes a satellite of the envied and carries his pain inside, since if he were to make it explicit he would declare his inferiority. Envy is the feeling of dislike for not having something and also the desire to possess that something to the point of depriving the other of that something. Sometimes, the envied is not even aware of the hurt feelings of the envious. Nobody says: "I envy you!". The envious person tries to hide his emotions and prefers not to show his handicap and to operate with sarcasm and devaluation of his interlocutor's success. Manifesting or making envy explicit would be a symptom of health. In the work environment, when the boss envies his subordinate (the superior over the inferior), the envious behaviors are more complex and complex, even more so when the subordinate is beautiful, attractive and intelligent, all virtues that in the eyes of the envious person are amplified. A resource of the envious person is to point out that the envied person got where he/she got to because of political connections, because he/she is dating the manager or that behind his/her appearance as an intelligent person, there is a family drama. For example, an envious soccer player does not miss the opportunity to disqualify the way the envied player plays or even, in a shy or innocent way, to give him a good kick. Envy implies not respecting distance or affective closeness. Moreover, envy among friends or siblings is a double bet on these dark feelings. Feeling envious favors the desire for the envied person's adversary to keep the trophy, play the better game, be elected to the job or do well on the exam. To feel envy in this way is lewd and treacherous because while the envious person pretends to be happy for his friend's achievements, behind the scenes he deeply wishes for his friend to fail. Thus, behind the envier's congratulation, there is the desire for destruction. The malicious joyThe fact of feeling envy is associated with a malicious, dishonest and immoral attitude, feelings that are the basis of strategies to defeat the envied. The envious person tries by all means to convince himself that the success of the envied person is not such and undervalues and disqualifies both the person and the content of his success. It can say: "it is a lot of luck that he has, more than capacity", "he is not as intelligent as he seems", "sure that his triumph does not last long..." or "all appearance, he is a smoke-seller! If the envious person manages to convince himself that what he says about the envied person is so, he is self-deceived and this may possibly make him feel better, although it is not an authentic well-being. However, the epicenter of glory for the envier lies when the envied person fails, his projects go wrong, he is disapproved, he falls into depression, the publication of the article is rejected, the competitor is valued at work or any of these situations that show the fall of the envied person. To feel envy can derive in self-deception. In those moments, the silent desires of the envious person become a reality and it is there when he positions himself above the envied one, because he feels superior at last and recovers his low self-esteem (although it is a false personal valuation, not an authentic and deep one). This period of gloating and rejoicing over the failure of the other is called malicious joy. One of the most manipulative attitudes of the envious person -as a sign of his falsehood and irony- is when his enemy is saddened by his failure and approaches him amicably and in full inner rejoicing, he shows condolences and offers words of sympathy: "What a pity that you did not do well..." or "what anger, you do not know how I understand you". When the envious person is envious, an irrepressible and uncontrollable feeling invades him: he speaks ill of the envied person or tries to do him any kind of harm such as denying him things, marginalizing him, defaming him, offending him, mistreating him psychically or physically, acting with sarcasm, mockery, irony or with words with double meaning. Change envy for admirationIf we are not chronically envious, surely at some point in our lives we have experienced this emotion, since it is deeply rooted in human nature. Now, behind a person who experiences envy, there is a devalued person who, instead of valuing himself, takes it upon himself to despise the envied person in order to balance his self-esteem. However, this precarious form of valuation leads nowhere in the territory of self-esteem, it only strengthens the devaluation. The truth is that if an envious person would realize his devaluation, he would possibly cease his envy. It is truly incredible that a feeling as complicated as envy can outweigh admiration for the other. Admiration is a noble and clean feeling, a way of valuing and highlighting the achievements of the partner, the friend, the family member. It is a matter of expressing it and letting them know it. It is also an easy feeling, simple, not complex, but to feel it we must be balanced with ourselves, valued and willing to qualify positively the achievements of the other. 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